Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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