Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
