so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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