Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
In America we eat man semen.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
