What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
