haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
