i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
