It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.