how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!