Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.