It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize