STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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