You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
