there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
