Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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