there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize