I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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