Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
