If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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