yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
