you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize