I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
