Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
