Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
