We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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