Someone shit on the floor
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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