Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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