Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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