Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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