Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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