Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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