Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
