So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
