I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize