I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
