I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
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I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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