You know, be my cock's hype man.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
