I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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