Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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