I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
