Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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