if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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