JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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