I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Found your dick twin last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize