I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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