I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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