Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize