tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize