The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
