You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The Olympian is in my bed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
