"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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