is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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