Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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