I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
