don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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