So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
tell me about the eggs
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
