some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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