Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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