I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
